|
fOoDmAsTa1311
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Jon
Birthday: 10/23/1989
Gender: Male
Interests: sleeping, computer, listening 2 music, EATING, AND MORE EATING!!!!
Occupation: Government
Industry: Hospitality
Message: message me
Member Since:
10/13/2002
|
|
| hmm...it appears that i haven't updated since the last day of February...i wonder where i should start...umm...i passed spring semester, with a low gpa of 2.5ish...big woopty doo...i also managed to pass the 2nd session of music history, which was good...i finally learned how to pass the course, so now i'm retaking the first session in the fall...i had a meeting with my advisor and the head of the degree program, and basically i'm reinstated back into music ed...only problem is that the schedule they gave me would require me to graduate in fall of 2011 instead of spring...so i'm sort of debating whether or not i still want to do it...naz isn't what ppl would call cheap, ya digg...so yeah...umm...i had a nice summer job from beginning of june til august at bayside...similar to last year, i went job hunting all over rochester, but consequently, i found a job this time...then i quit in august, b/c i had more opportunity to work at my parents place b/c one of the workers was moving away...in addition, the fact that i was only a busboy at bayside, while i could wait at my parents place, prompted me to quit asap...you see, at bayside, being a busboy isn't really a busboy...your number one priority there is to wash dishes...by dishes, i mean every single dish that they use that day along with all the pots and pans the chefs go through...and since he doesn't have a dish washing machine...guess what...you wash all of them by hand...you also stock beer, clean tables, take out the trash, help the servers, help the chefs, help the bartender, the occassional clogged toilets(it seemed that whenever i was there, that always happened, and i was always washing dishes just at that moment, so rob(the boss) would always ask for my assisstance...this happened a total of 3 times to me)...you get paid $5 an hour, which is above minimum wage at a restaurant, plus tips...so it averaged out to be approximately at least $10 an hour...we'd start from 4pm and worked til whenever we were done...latest i was there was 2am...so the majority of my summer was mainly just working...i did find some time to practice, which is a good thing, b/c i don't want to be behind when i go back to school...speaking of school...i'm stoked to go back...summer vacation's waaaaay too long...my plans to going back to taiwan for schooling isn't going to be happening anytime soon...i guess i'll just get my master's here, since degrees in US is internationally recognized...for the most part...abdc season 4 just started and i watched the season premier...that'll keep me busy for a couple weeks...pats won their first preseason game against the eagles...and the eagles also aquired vick as a qb...HAHA...have fun with that...almost forgot...i had cousins from taiwan visit recently...during julyish...you see, this is what happens when you update for mad long...there's only so much info my mind can retain...but hey, at least i'm trying...it was 2 sisters and a brother...it was probably their first or second time here...and they were pretty cool...then another one of my cousins(all from the same family) came to stay here...so at one point during july, there were 9 ppl living in my house at one time...well the one cousin who came later, he's still here...my parents are fine with him staying here, b/c he has a test soon to get his certificate in networking? and after he takes the exam, i believe he's driving back to chicago...he originally drove up from boston, after going there for vacation or something from chicago...hung out with journey a couple weeks ago, and it was fun...probably going to get another get together soon...before any of them leave for school...looked after kelvin's dog, kobe, for about a month...he went to hong kong for 2 months to visit family and vacation...he's one of our employee's...mad cool chink...uhh...i had my second ticket in may, on my way back from waterloo outlet mall...i was dozing off right after i passed the toll booth, and there was a cop on the side a little bit up ahead...somehow i sped up a bit too much as i was driving by him and i didn't notice, b/c i was so tired...my sister insisted on driving the way home, but i didn't let her...seems like i should've let her...i also didn't have a comfortable amount of sleep that morning, so i was dealing with some fatigue...oh well...i think one more ticket and my licesnse is suspended? haha...i'll update some more later...idk when...but i will...well these have been some words of the wise from your fav azn...peace out girl scouts
one love
yuanson
| | |
| so much shit has happened to me this school year i don't even know where to start...let's see...beginning of spring semester, i was informed that i had been kicked out of my major...this didn't seem like a surprise to me, b/c the previous semester had kicked my butt...music history was a real pain and i didn't know what to expect...and i was unprepared for that class...resulted in me failing and not only that, i went in for finals and attempted the listening and got maybe half of it correct...then completely slept through the written section...i already knew i was going to fail that class, so i didn't bother...surprisingly, i learned that i was able to take the 2nd session and i am currently on good terms with the professor as of start of spring semester...i e-mailed her this whole story of why i did so bad and it was true...i talked about my lack of punctuality throughout all of high school and sleeping tendency...it's true though...haha...if you knew me in high school, i was most likely to fall asleep in the classes...so i'm trying even harder this semester for music history...i have gotten significantly better on the piano...i easily learned the pieces my teacher assigned me to learn over break and i asked for harder ones and she was surprised when i told her one of the pieces she gave me was too easy and i wanted a harder piece...i'm trying to convince my parents to let me have my graduate studies in taiwan upon receiving my BM at naz...don't see that happening seeing that i need to up my mandarin level...buut i think i can handle it...i now have a larger interest in azn music, more than ever...stickam is no longer my antidrug, although i go on it every couple days just to check on those kids...my friendship with the wayne kids are gone and i'm back to that depressed phase which i had during my sophmore year of high school...it really sucks...my bond with my crew is also slowly disappearing...i am no longer as tight as i was with journey...for once in my life, i'm trying to do what i want, and i'm getting no positive results...i talk less in school now, barely socialize, and am desperately seeking a female companion (first time in my life i felt this way)...i want to experience that happiness i felt beginning of last year when i first met ying and her group of friends...i want to feel that spark again i had with her with another girl...only problem is that last time that happened, i learned that that other girl wasn't looking for a relationship...this girl is azn as well and i confessed that i had crush on her since last year...when i first met her, it was like early 2008ish...but the crush went away when i went to taiwan, then it came back like a month ago...she's short, beautiful, has a wonderful personality, and share some similar interests as me, unlike ying...downside is that she doesn't speak an azn language, which would be a plus in my books...haha...her names diana and she's a senior at schroeder...she plays the flute and dances...and she's good too...from what other ppl say...according to her, she sucks though...she's like 2nd chair first flute in the wind ensemble or something...this girl is almost always never mad at ppl, no matter how mean you are to her...she finds my friend and i funny whenever we insult her at work...all in all, i just want to get to know her better...idk a whole lot about her is all...school is starting to get somewhat stressful, not the musical aspect, but the fricken science of sound class...that teacher is horrible and sometimes even the students correct his math...add on the fact that half the time he can't answer our questions...and the teacher for the lab for that class can't speak english...erm...well he can, but with a heavy accent...he's indian with a PhD and no one understands a thing he's saying in class b/c he uses so many big words...where does naz find these professors? seriously...and that girl that i thought i felt a spark with is a coworker, which makes it even more awkward since she already knows i have a diehard crush on her...add on the fact that she never responds to my cute txts whenever i send them...i lost half my stickam friends b/c i wasn't on for a week...oh well...sometimes i wonder if those kids even have a life, b/c they're on it so often...it scares me at times...basically life sucks right now and everything around me is just crumpling...nothing is going my way, even though i'm finally trying to take control of my own life...idk why this is happening...ugh...i even started to talk less at naz as well...i'm losing friends everywhere...good job jon...how come no one ever starts conversing with me? i don't understand it...don't they see that i'm not talking to anyone? ik i should engage in conversation, but to tell you the truth, i'm not real fond of these music majors at naz...all they do is practice and when i try talking sports to them, they look at me funny...ik that practicing is the top priority for us, but that doesn't mean we can't do other things in life as well...i'm still the only dude in dance club and i have recently joined naz ultimate...i haven't been going to ultimate the past couple practices bc i came down with a small sore throat...it got so bad with the girl that i even sent her a mad long txt last night...it was another one of my poems, but i made it up on the spot:
after talking with you tonight, i realized that maybe the 2 of us just aren't meant to be woven so tight.
i seem to have come at the wrong time in the wrong place, if not, please give me reassurance so that i may rest my case.
we might not be meant for each other now or forever, but that doesn't mean there's no chance that we might get there.
i'm willing to hold onto that slim chance and just hope, bc if i don't take that chance, it's just dope.
you already know how i feel towards you, and i just hope that one day you'll feel that way too.
if that day ever comes and i still have something for you, all you need to know is that you've just made me the happiest man on earth bc my wish came true.
sorry for making you listen to my ranting tonight, but my feelings were leaking through, i could've ranted til daylight.
i really would like to get to know you better, so i guess i'll do just that until someone comes around and has my heart captured.
i'm sure we could get along just fine as acquaintances, seeing that we both blow and do some style of dances!
you will always hold a spot in my memory, no matter what happens good or bad regrettably.
everything i said about you this week were true, no matter how cute or creepy it appeared to you.
ik that you were probably annoyed with all those txts i sent, but i couldn't help it and sending them i def don't regret.
i'm at the point where i need a gf just to be happy, i want to know what if felt like when it used to be ying and me.
when at first i felt that feeling when you were around me, it was that same feeling when i was around ying, the one that made my heart skip a beat.
bc of that i thought you might be the next one, i did take into consideration that you and relationships were done.
i knew you were going to say something along those lines, add on the fact you never responded to my lame pickup lines :).
you never sent me the wrong impressions at all, i was head over heels for you and not thinking at all.
i just wanted you to know that if you ever change your mind, don't hesitate to tell me bc i'm actually quite kind.
i might be a dick to you at times, but that's only bc i say things like that to see how your personality is inside.
i too would not like to give you the wrong impression as well, i really have no intentions of going out with a stranger such as yourself.
i can tell you one thing about myself though, i'd sacrifice a lot just to satisfy the other person requests fo sho.
my biggest fear in life is not dying, but rather not being able to help someone even when i am trying.
you told me 8 out of 10 for looks, that basically lifted up my hopes.
now when i think about it, it's not always about looks.
i can be the nicest guy that someone knows, i treat everyone equal be it friends or foes.
i believe in "treat others as you yourself would like to be treated", so i don't understand why i can't find girls who aren't conceited.
i've been used, played, and whipped, that's why i took a gamble to express my feelings towards you bc ik you don't do this shit.
you're truthful, nice, beautiful, and actually know what you want (which is not a relationship), so ima just leave it at this bc ik reading through all these long txts will surely make you flip.
the lesson i want to leave you with is this: don't let what i say influence your decisions. these are my emotions doing the talking for me. with this, i leave you with these questions. have you ever though differently of me, no matter how short it lasted, and in what ways different? have you ever been in a serious relationship before, and if not, would you want to? and finally, how much of rich's 2 cm eggroll could you withstand before it was too much? HAHAHAHA
:-p
this entire thing took me an hour to txt, b/c i was laying in bed thinking of what i wanted to say and it was 2 at night...my brain was dead coming from a 6 hour of sleep day and work...well these have been some words of the wise from your fav azn...peace out girl scouts
one love
yuanson
| | |
| ayye...i haven't updated in maad long...haha...so since my last update, i have finished freshman year of college, went to taiwan for a month and a half, had a pretty fun summer, gotten better at flute and piano, and have learned a couple lessons or two...many things have been on my mind recently...and i figured that i should probably just pour them out right here, just so that i won't have such a heavy burden to deal with later on...umm...where should i start...it was 3:52 am on the morning of 7/28...i decided to pull a prank, b/c knowing me, i'd enjoy doing those kind of things and was usually successful at them as well...as it turned out, my prank went haywire and backfired...originally the prank was me telling ying, ash, chels, kayla that i was going to stay in taiwan for school this coming year, b/c at the time, i was already in taiwan and had been there for over a month...and i had this entire reason of why i did it which was (taken from myspace):
"Aug 17, 2008 9:41 PM
well
at the time that i told chels this, i was told that her and kayla have
been hanging out with each other recently and not with you guys, b/c
you and ying were usually hanging out with these other kids...and that
didn't make me very happy seeing that you guys, a wonderful group of 4
friends, were slowly moving away...i didn't care how long/short this
would last...just the fact that in my eyes, you guys were slowly moving
away made me mad...so i decided to come up with this whole "i'm going
to be staying in taiwan" thing, b/c i figured that if you guys all lost
something that meant a lot to you guys (in this case, me), then you
guys might become closer, like how it was before i left...i just
figured that ppl usually unite when something similar happen to all of
them...and yes, i also took into consideration how you guys would
respond...but i didn't do this to hurt you guys, i just didn't want to
see you guys going separate ways when i left, and come back together
when i got back...i knew that if i were to come back, then you guys
would automatically start hanging out with each other...but i didn't
want this to be the reason why you guys started to hang out with each
other...i just don't want you guys to make me the center of your lives,
b/c you guys all have your own lives to live...but yeah...that's
basically my reason for doing what i did...and if your mad, well, i
already knew you would get mad...haha...you over react too much, not
going to lie...and if this reason isn't good enough, we'll i'm sorry
i'm not a poet"
and since that day, the only ones who have talked to me is kayla and ying...kayla apparently already knew that i was lying, idk how but she did...and ying was just ying...ash ik is still mad at me, and chels just straight up ignores me...i basically just lost half of them over a prank, which in the beginning i had no intentions of hurting any of them at all...i just meant to be jon yuan, the prankster who shouldn't be taken seriously...but that all backfired...good going jon...i tried saying sorry to them so many times, but chels ignores me and ash is still mad...and to make it worse...i'm scared of the both of them right now...i'm one of those ppl who dislike arguments and always try to stay away from one...so the 4 of them went to d-lake on tuesday and came back yesterday...i really was about to go wednesday just to surprise them, but lo and behold, they had already left...i only knew this b/c i called kayla...so then i ask myself, what kind of a friend am i, if i can't even make it to one of my friends b-day party? not a pretty good one if your asking me...then i passed out at 8 last night and later woke up at 12...i came downstairs and first thing i decided to do is go on myspace...so i went to ash's myspace and first thing i see are all these pics from the past 2 nights...i saw that they were all happy and stuff...and that's when it hit me...i started to get sad looking at all these pics, so i decided to go on ying's myspace, and what do i see again? the same exact pics...and then i got even more sad, so i just turned off the computer and went upstairs...and i decided to just call some ppl, b/c usually when i'm not in a good mood, i just go and call my friends and talk to them and tell them what's wrong...then i wound up going to bed at 2 and waking up just when the sun rose...5 or 6 or something...then i went back to bed...and i woke up at 8 and have been up since...i feel like crap really...b/c i overthink everything and i'm maaad sentimental, so this kind of pain is the hardest for me to deal with...and ik that they're doing this to punish me for pulling that joke on them...and ik that's a pretty legit deal...but i just want this to be over with and to be like how it used to be before i left...pretaiwan jon and company...i was sooo happy back then and i rarely felt sad or anything, and we could always kid around and stuff...i learned that what i did, though, was probably too extreme for some of them, and i apologize for doing so...we need to understand that humans are not perfect...sometimes we make bad choices and sometimes we make right ones...in the end, however, it is the right choices that you will be remembered for...here's another thing that i sent to them on 8/18 via myspace
"as i think more and more about what i did, i just feel more and more
like crap...i never meant to hurt you but i know i did...and what has
been done can't be changed...but that doesn't mean that you can't still
change the future for the better...i was always a prankster and now
look at where i am...haha...the jokes on me now...pain is weakness
leaving the body...well if that's true, then dang have i lost a whole
lot of weakness just in these past 2 days...haha...as i'm looking back
and reminiscing on the past, before i left, a smile grows on my
face...all of our inside jokes that no one in the entire world would
understand start popping up in my mind..."v for
v.i.c.t.o.r.y."...haha..."look i'm ying...wait...no...now i'm
ying"...monkey faces on the webcam...maaaad car rides...those 2 girls
sweet 16 party that i invited myself to...mall trips...hi i'm
hairyballs alottamass. look at my creepstache. check out my sick dance
moves. look what i can do. high five bro...and a whole lot
more...basically just me being me and making fool out of myself, which
i do pretty often...not going to lie...haha...you gotta admit though,
those were mad fun times and good mems...haha...and i really hope that
we can have many more in the future...i don't want one retarded lie
ruin this friendship that we had...b/c you guys are probably one of the
best group of ppl i've ever come across in my entire 18 years of
living...well almost 19 years...you guys are always there for each
other and you guys basically can talk about anything with each
other...and there's that trust thing you guys have, which to me, means
a lot as friends...to be able to trust someone so much that you can
just say whatever you want on your mind...and i hope that you guys will
accept me back into your group of friends again and continue where we
left off, so that this friendship can grow even more stronger than when
it was when i left...haha...well ima bounce now...peace out girl scout
one love
yuanson"
that basically was the last thing i have ever said to them...and i hope it won't be some lingering vestige, if it still doesn't work out, on me...ik that they went through 6 weeks w/o seeing me and really did miss me...but think about it, they had each other there the entire time...and what about me in taiwan? i had no friends there...only family, but i already talk to everyday at home when we were still in webster...so imagine how horrible i felt not having my friends there besides me...and when i did have computer access, it was only limited and they were almost always never on whenever i was, b/c of the time zones...and i would always check the phone everyday to see if anyone called me, b/c i had given ash my number half way through my trip...and no one ever called me the entire time, even though ash told me that her and ying would and use her mom's phone card...just that gave me hope and made me happy...so everyday since week 4, i would check out my phone, and to my dismay they never ended calling me once...and i figured that i would only give my number to ash, b/c they are the ppl i talk to the most on the phone everynight before i came to taiwan...i had not told anyone else my number, not even my crew...i remember how during our nightly phonecalls i used to have with the wayne kids, it would always make me happy just to be able to talk to them...even if we hadn't hung out in maaad long, just talking to them on the phone was enough for me...but after i told them this lie, the chances of them calling me while i was in taiwan became 0...and i know how much it hurt them not being able to hang out with me for a whole month and a half...so now they decide to punish me, and although it's only been 3 days or so, it feels like a pretty long time to me...but one of my beliefs is that violence solves nothing and that revenge is not necessary nor does it ever fixes anything, but they probably don't follow this belief...i'm not one to lose friends and ik that sometimes i don't make the brightest choices, but hey, that's because i'm maaad stubborn and still immature...so i'll let them do as they will with me, b/c i've already done and said what i needed to say...it's all in their hands now...they can either mend or break this relationship...i understand that i still have other choices and that this probably isn't a bright choice for me to make either...but like i said, i'm maaad stubborn...these have been some words of the wise from your fav azn
one love
yuanson
ps.
and to add on...if
there's one thing that i've taught you guys, i think it would be to be
yourself...don't fall for peer pressure, you are all human beings, you
can make your own choices...just be yourself, who cares if you're
different...that's what makes ppl more interesting...be who you want to
be, and don't let others tell you no...do what you want to do...life is
too short to try to live a perfect life...make mistakes...have fun...be
a kid...you only have one life to live, so why not take risks and go do
something exciting...but also don't forget to help out others...try to
put other's before you...b/c in the future, the favor might be
returned...don't let what other ppl say hold you back from doing what
you want...but most of all, just try to be you...don't try to be me, or
her, or him, or your friends and family, just be yourself...the only
rule you need to abide by is that you can do what you want, just as
long as you don't interfere with other ppl's wills...and pull a jon
yuan while your at it too...it's more fun than it looks...don't be
afraid to do something or try something new, b/c you don't know if
you'll like it or not...and don't be afraid to just say something
silly, b/c usually that helps ppl become start some sort of a
conversation...and with this, i bid xanga adieu until my next
post...whenever that may be...haha...stay fly til i die | | |
| here's another little thing i sent to ying on sat morning...haha
Once upon a time there as this girl. she liked this boy a lot and vice versa. one day, she tells this boy that she doesnt like him anymore and he lost a part of his heart. after thinking and talking to the boy everyday, the girl realized taht she too lost part of her heart and wanted it back. what she didnt know was that the boy never lost that part of her heart and that with each waking moment, he only thought about her. just hearing her voice everynight brought a smile to his face. now they are back in each others arm again once more and are fools in love.
lesson learned: idk...but all ik is that the missing parts of our hearts fit in one anothers perfectly fine and thats why this is going to be our tong hua, our fairytale. i love you with all of my heart, even the parts that are yours, which made my heart whole again. :)
i asked her out last tuesday and she finally says yes...haha...i was so happy...so finally we're dating...i tried to hang out as much as possible with her last week b/c she was leaving friday night for florida on spring break and not coming back til sunday night...mad fun couple days that i got to spend with her...one mad strange thing happened sunday night though...somehow, she texted me at 4:30 am or so and i woke up just when i saw my phone vibrating...i never wake up that late, even to a phone call...but somehow, i woke up just when my phone was vibrating, and what do you know...she texted me...i got it and texted her back some stuff, but i don't remember what i said...i always erase my txts after i send them...somehow, i was even able to erase them when i was half asleep...then that morning, she texts me saying: "In my dream i texted you and when i woke up i got all these texts from you and i found out i really did text you lmao" mad strange...i'm even more convinced that we were brought together by fate and that her texting me and i getting it just when she does it is also part of fate...idk...i miss her a whole lot and it hurts...haha...well these have been some words of the wise from your fav azn
one love
yuanson
| | |
| sooo...there is no more ying...buuuut thats aiight...haha...to tell you the truth, i'm glad we met and got to know each other extremely well...this past month that i've known her were the happiest days of my life both hands down...the only thing i regret though is letting my feelings get the best of me...i thought we were meant to be, but guess not...so maybe fate isn't 100% true...strange though...we never really started off as friends...and we never really got to the boyfriend girlfriend level...so it was mad strange...it was that in between level where you feel more than friends, but you guys aren't dating yet kind of thing...hmm...the one thing i wished i hadn't done with her is kiss and make out with her...haha...i sort of follow that whole philosophy of "i'll marry the first girl i kiss", which is mad f'ed up...haha...and she goes by the "first kiss tells how a relationships is going to be", which also doesn't really work out...but it's tons better than mine...but what happened was this...monday night (probably the best night of my life), i snuck over to her house to hangout around 8:30ish...then i just sat around and cuddled and we did nothing til 9, b/c i didn't know what to do in her room...then i made my move and that led to making out...so yeah...one thing she did that wasn't really cool was that she was staring me when we kissed and i was like...wtf...and then the next night, tuesday night, i go and tell her "i love you" right before we were going to hang up, and she goes "i love you too"...but you see, i say "i love you" to her often, so i didn't really believe her...so i ask "do you really love me?" and she goes "fine...i don't"...the next night, wednesday night, we had our daily phone call again and she finally tells me that we wouldn't work out...and i was like...umm..."why didn't you tell me this earlier?" she goes "you know how the first kiss usually tells how a relationship's going to be like?" and i go "yeah"...she goes "well i didn't feel anything from that first kiss"...she also told me that "you know how you think you like someone at first, but after a while, you don't?" and i go "yeah...is that like you?" and she goes "yeah" ...so the next morning, i went and talked to some of my friends, b/c i was just shocked and stuff...and talking to them actually helped me a lot...they helped me realize that she probably was too immature or scared of being in a serious relationship...plus she's only a sophmore...so yeah...haha...now it's sort of like a big brother little sister kind of thing between us...we still talk on the phone everyday for hours...so the lesson learned from this experience: nice guys always finish last...haha...but i rather be nice than a deusche...one things for sure though...i will never forget her or the time we spent together...she showed me what real happiness was...she was the nicest girl to me...she helped me learn so much about myself, which i've always doubted...and she was the key in opening up so many new doors for me...because of this, i shall forever be in her debt...so this chapter in my life comes to an end and another begins...these have been some words of the wise from your fav azn
one love
yuanson
| | |
|
